The Definitive Cure For Penis Envy


If you’ve followed my columns, you will know I am a major faghag and have occasional penis envy.

Bitching with one of my beloveds on chat today, I said, “I am so glad you are gay and I don’t have a dick, so that we never fuck up our wonderful connection with sexual tension.” Eureka moment.

Ah, thank god for anatomical incompatibility. Happy Valentine’s, my loves, you know who you are!

10 responses »

  1. yeah!thank god.
    sexual tension really sucks. makes my heart weak. too much excitement…its much better to sit and watch cricket(or tennis,or have what you may) with the opp sex than anything else…

  2. I’ve got the vanity to say it, so I will — the kind of sexual tension that really bothers me in platonic relationships is when the other person refuses to just get that you are not and won’t ever be interested in them. There’s a point at which it becomes a violation. It’s sad, because you get so uncomfortable around them that you eventually need to decide you need to stop hanging out. Flirting is always fun. Constantly having to blow out someone’s torch without hurting their feelings is not.

  3. flirting is a bit of a drag,sometimes,no?i think its like fitting into your gender stereotype(i mean heterosexual flirting)…but yeah,it can be fun too for those who are so inclined.
    but yeah,its terrible to hurt someone’s feelings, you always end up hurting yourself somehow…as someone told me recently, feelings of wanting and not wanting are always inter-connected.

  4. Hello…Why not be content with what one is endowned with? Why envy? What’s your take on Ardhaneeswara concept in Hindu religion?

  5. Yshivoni — Oh good lord. Do some people just have no sense of self-deprecatory humour? Ardhaneeswara rocks. I consider myself pretty androgynous… And also very, very female.

  6. yeah,i agree sharanya.ardhanarishwara,just like a working class hero/ine,is something to be…

  7. Hello…Ms Sharanya! Thanks for that reply.Yea..self-deprecatory humor is well taken…but still ‘penis envy’ as a phrase sucks of more bowing to male chauvinism…I am not talking about that usage in your context…just in general…perhaps another masculine ‘put down’ well adopted by the submissive woman…or by a few who reckon that their liberation is possible only through an illusionary exchange…its really fantastic that you felt (and feel) that ardha…rocks!

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